She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
