I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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