I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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