Moan for me like Helen Keller
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
