bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
