Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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