You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
