Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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