Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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