I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's blow job season.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
