I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize