Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
