How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
