im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
