Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
