it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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