And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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