I wish I could punch you in the face.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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