Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
literally had 100 drinks last night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
