There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
