**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
