She's JV to your varsity
Porn is love you can see.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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