This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
