She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
