I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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