apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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