I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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