Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
