I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
