You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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