Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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