Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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