I should be sponsored by Trojan
it was like eating out sand paper
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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