You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All I want is dick and wine.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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