I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
