i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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