Sponge bath it is.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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