Barsexuality is the new black.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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