Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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