If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
ttyl tear gas
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
