I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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