I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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