I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
