No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to sanitize my soul.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
