so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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