Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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