dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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