just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
