Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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