I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
