hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
