The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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