Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
