Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
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One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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