Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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