Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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