I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
