Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Gay?
German.
Pity.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
