Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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