so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
