Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
