I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize