I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
are you so shy because you have an std?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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