Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
please come you make the beer taste better
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
