Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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