Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
