A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's blow job season.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
