32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
